Skip to main content

The Quarantine Life

                    

                                                       Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash                        

                        The Quarantine Life


“The noose was ready with The Hangman’s knot, just like we were taught in Forensics class.
Advantages tight and reliable. Disadvantage not easily removable. But that’s not going to be my
problem. Is it?

My quarantine began like everyone else. Came home from the hostel. Away from the hostel, I
thought I would be able to happy again. But your mind doesn’t give up on you that easily. It has
an endless collection of sad memories, that it shows you time and again, like a diligent salesman.
And one thing leads to another and after three weeks into the quarantine, you know your time has
run out. Tomorrow is my birthday. How fitting. It’s like completing a chakra. The yin and yang,
stop chasing each other’s tails and rest together.

It was not always this gloomy. I still remember feeling happy. And how my laugh would reach to
the creases of my eye and warm my heart. How happy I would enjoy even small things- like a
hearty chicken biryani, how Agatha Christie still made my heart race, how Yuval Harrari still
made me a better man, how Khaled Hosseini still made me cry. Then, slowly I stopped reading.
I would still get up early, go to my class, go to movies at friends, laughed when everyone
laughed, cried when everyone cried. I did my assignments; I did my chores. The thing about
being depressed is it doesn’t float over your head in multi-coloured holographic letters. I blame
no one. I knew I had to open up. I always put it up to tomorrow. Looks like the tomorrow is
finally coming. I am opening up - hopefully to heaven.

I just wish that when you see my dead body, you’ll understand that advising a depressed person
is very easy. Why don’t you watch some Stand-Up Comedy? Motivational Videos? Exercise
more? Eat healthy food? Telling others- ‘Just be happy’ is easy. What is not easy is being there
for someone when needed. Listening without being irritated.

Will anybody mourn me? Will the senior who bullied me write a long post about suicide? Will
the faculty who made me cry during my viva advocate about mental health? And what of my
parents? What will they think? But I can’t afford to be weak now. I have come too far. It’s D-
Day. Better to be a dead son than a useless son. Better to be a dead friend than an absent friend.
Nobody knew that I was not living in peace. But everyone will hope that I rest in peace”.

Sub Inspector Sah slowly tucked the note in an Evidence bag and looked sideways to hide his
tears. As his assistants were packing the body, his eyes fell on the framed photograph on the
study table. Three young boys in white coats, each holding a bone in their hand, smiling at the
camera. Little they knew, the boy who had the brightest of smiles, would have the darkest of
futures.


It was my attempt to understand what went behind anyone having suicidal thoughts. Please be kind to everyone. And please don't hesitate to reach out.

Suicide Helpline No. Nepal

Transcultural Psychosocial Organization Nepal- Crisis Hotline: 1660 010 2005

And Mental Health Helpline Nepal: 1660 013 3666






Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Undisputed Master of Courtroom Thrillers

John Grisham is as good as he is prolific. His numerous foray into the world of courtroom thrillers and beyond have filled up many bookracks. But, thankfully he hasn't compromised the quality of his writing. Year after year, he continues to deliver excellent courtroom thrillers, tying it up with vivid tales of corrupt institutions, corporate greed and the vices of law practices to which any reader would have been happily unaware. Although his first book, A Time to Kill wasn't popular initially, his next novel The Firm brought him worldwide recognition. And finally, his previous works also got the attention they deserved.  Each and every novel of John Grisham are undoubtedly the benchmarks in the genre, but today I'd like to pick my favourite and gush over it a little. Although it is very difficult to single out his best novel from the likes of The Firm, The Partner, The Pelican Brief, A Time to Kill , and so on,  I have picked a favourite. It's The Rainmaker. Surpris...
4 comments
Read more

Delirium

                                                            Delirium Would you like to know? What does it feel like? When you are a prisoner of your mind? And subject to its confabulated pranks To wander aimlessly in your memory land In an eternal state of existential crisis Stuck in the twilight zone Between consciousness and unconsciousness Questioning each moment Wait, is it really mine? How do I know that? What is real, what is not? Do you know what it’s like to wonder? Minute after minute, hour after hour Are the voices you hear really being spoken? And the touch you feel? Is it really there? Is the ocean just a reflection of the sky? With the endless azure blue? Are those Angels I see? With the brilliant white and the golden halo? Questions, Questions, Questions ...
5 comments
Read more

Red Under The Skin

[This poem was  Judged as Third  in the Poem Competition organized on the occasion of Blood Donation Week-2020, by  BPKIHS Students Blood Donation Committee ]. Red Under The Skin What a strange time we are living in. Can you imagine a time more desperate? A time so morally barren and arid A time where indifference is the norm And humanity is the exception.                                                                                                                                Photo by  LuAnn Hunt  on  Unsplash Where inequality, injustice and discrimination Are as...
Post a Comment
Read more